On other hand, most women and most men who are naturally confident, tend to see most of the good sides of “the community”. All is not perfect though.

There are objectively less-than-positive off putting aspects to this area and a major one of them is objectification and over complication. It is (or was until this point), full of extremely interesting social oddities which are half-geeky-engineers, half-smooth-playboys who will break down social interactions into diagrams, charts, at first seemingly strange schematics of the angles of walking, the degress of gestures and the exact frequencies of voice usage with the exactly measured out words.

The major schools in this area battled over the exact formulas (called methods) of exactly how these specifics are exactly used.

And this, is what to many can seem an off putting aspect.

Does it work? Yes.

Does it feel good to learn it? No, it kinda feels too forced and unnatural at first.

Most decided to push through the unnaturalness of the formulas, knowing, that if you use them long enough, YOU will develop into this person who is naturally a socially charismatic and attractive person, at which point you can drop the formulas.

What Cameron has done is start a new trend. A trend of going DIRECTLY for this natural aspect of BEING the man who naturally has these things “happen” to him, instead of having to “cause” them to happen.

Now, how exactly does he propose to do that?

What Mr. Teoni has managed to do, is isolate a set of attributes. A set of attributes which when developed, everything works!

To make this clearer, the notion that Teoni puts forth, is that if you have these attributes, it doesn’t matter what formula you use, it doesn’t matter WHAT you do, how you do it and when you do it. Everything bring tremendous dating success when you have the attributes.

To make the distinction clearer.

In the previous paradigm, if you wanted to approach a woman and have a stunning first interaction: the formula (of your choice) would have given you a scientifically proven way of positioning your body, the order of the words, and how they are said. In such a manner that they would convey exactly that impression which would impress the woman (that you are an attractive, confident, charming man).

In the new (attributes) paradigm, you become a supremely attractive, confident, charming man, and no matter what you say, comes across as exactly that.

Teoni does go to admit the usefulness of the “how” and develops the second half of the book, into laying out exactly the things you need to do. Even though you already have the attributes clearly laid out, and all the ways of attaining them, while they are still developing, it’s still necessary to know WHAT to do in specific situations. And fortunately, no stone is left unturned. Everything from exactly what to say when, how to set dates, to how to defeat specific fears and how to get the number or initiate the sex. There isn’t a single aspect or situation that is left uncovered.

PROS:

–A brand new and quite simplified paradigm that is “mainstream” friendly

–A practical and specific guide to personal development (badly laid out though)

CONS:

–The writing style. Even though this book has everything the reader would ever need to become supremely successful with women, the writing style almost makes it impossible that the average reader will understand it completely. It’s written in such a poor way that you already need to understand it from an expert’s level, to be able to know what is said. This can be fixed with reading the book several times, but it shouldn’t have been so badly written in the first place

rating(5): (product website)

Technorati Tags: cameron teone, cameron teoni, dating coach, dating-tips, personal development, picking up girls, pickup artist, pickup girls, Seduction, Seduction community, self-help, self-improvement, sex, the one

It’s Friday, and later tonight, you may find yourself in a spot I found myself many, many Friday nights.

You’re wandering the club, alone, late.

You’re not drunk, but you’re not sober. There are some cute girls there, but you just don’t have the desire to talk to them. You have some guys you know there, but they aren’t real friends, and you know if you say something to them you’ll have to talk more.

All you really want is to be home on your couch with your laptop and your TV. Maybe a dog. Maybe some take-out chinese or buffalo wings.

You damn sure don’t want to be here in a loud club at 1:51 on a Thursday night, watching people silently and wondering why that dumb-looking obnoxious guy in the silver shiny shirt has a blond giggling on his lap, and all you have are thoughts about how you are going to get your PowerPoint ready for tomorrow’s 10 AM meeting.

It sucks. I’ve been there, the Thursday night scrapping club. You make the vow to go out and meet your goals.

“I’m gonna talk to 50 women! I’m gonna talk to 80 women! I’m gonna talk to 100 women and pull a bunch home for an after-party and a threesome, just like I read about!”

But when you get to the club, you know right away you made a mistake. You don’t want to count the number of women you talk to. You don’t want to call them “sets.” You want to get better at meeting people and making women smile, and enjoying yourself socially without that crippling feeling that this is just more hard work in a life that already has plenty o’ hard work and not nearly enough hard fun.

It’s not you. It’s not your willpower. And it’s not even the club.

It’s all about what you want. If you want to meet girls in clubs, you will have to go out to them. But you will also have to learn to enjoy them. A wise man once told me that anything you want to get good at, you need two qualities:

Practice

and Joy.

If you just have the practice but no joy, you will stop doing it. Think of the child who’s well-meaning parents get him piano lessons and make him play every Wednesday at 3 PM when his friends are outside playing tackle football in the street and yelling every time a car passes by. You think he gets a lot of joy from his practice?

Later in life, of course, that same kid will realize that while no woman is impressed by your ability to run a fly pattern and haul in a 30-yard pass with a Nerf ball, they all get wet as mosquito bogs anytime a man sits at a piano and plays three notes that don’t sound like cats screwing. So keep that in mind.

If you have the practice, you need the joy. But if you just have the joy, you won’t make much progress. You’ll be aimless, and get frustrated at your repeated same efforts, like the kid who discovers finger paints and never picks up a brush because no one teaches him anymore. I loved painting when I was a kid. I even took a painting course in college. But no one ever taught me the fundamentals of just how to hold a brush, or mix paints. And so I just stopped, despite my joy.

Practice and joy. When you plan to meet women, make sure your plan includes both of these elements. Get a good start with your practice by finding some expert instruction, like our new revolutionary home-study guided audio-video course, “Movie Star Body Language.” With the step-by-step instruction and visual modeling, and the guided visualizations within, you will learn with all your senses how to transform your body from accidentally unsure to intentionally cocky.
http://seanmessenger.podbean.com/movie-star-body-language/

Now you’ve got that, bring some love to it. Do things that make you smile. Meet women where you want to be. Go to bars with music you like. Let yourself have your favorite drink even if someone tells you not to. You’re a grown-ass man. Make your own decisions. And always, always, always decide on what’s fun.

If the night just ain’t working, you can always go home to where it’s nice, see what Tivo has waiting for you, and head off to bed, knowing today is another day, full of…

Practice. And Joy.

=========

Another edition of Sean Messenger’s column, fresh off the presses (SedCom Exclusive)

Sean Messenger has created a brand-new, free and open message board at http://www.websitetoolbox.com/mb/gettinggreatgirls where he’s answering real questions from real men every day. And http://seanmessenger.com is your gateway drug. The good smack is all there once you step in the rabbit hole.;

Technorati Tags: dating coach, dating-tips, personal development, picking up girls, pickup 101, pickup artist, pickup girls, san francisco, sean messenger, Seduction, Seduction community, self-help, self-improvement, sex, sexuality

Now let’s get something straight. Some say you are the daygame guru. Is this how you see yourself?

Art: I see myself as a guy who just sees things as is: natural dynamic, and that’s what day game is all about. Its so common sense in day game In night game it’s all game

Nirvanos Deco: Yeah.

Art: in day time i can take a number in 3 minutes, and have a great date, in night game i need to spend 3 hours gaming her, where is fun in that? I am seeing a lot of confusion about day game in the community

Nirvanos Deco: That ties into the next question. Some see daygame as being too traditional… I.E. limited to a traditional dating model. No same-day lays, no after parties. You have to choose one girl, and go one-on-one, full on romantic. What’s your opinion on this?

Art: Yes and No. Yes , its unlikely to have same day lay

No, it doesn’t have to be traditionally romantic, in fact it’s the wrong way to go.

Nirvanos Deco: Really? Speak more to that.

Art: Traditionally romantic often implies dinner and movie, and that puts a certain image in women’s mind, if you change the structure of a date, and make it more low key, and less money at stake, the dynamic changes, it’s no longer courting, it’s having fun.

Nirvanos Deco: But it’s still one on one with one girl?

Art: Yeah, its one on one, but you can do social circles, but in day time 1on1 works better for most guys. Basically in day time, you don’t need social proof. Your personality is social proof, how you act and how you handle yourself, as long as we remember that women act on emotion, and not logic, the whole dynamic changes. That’s why a number close in just a few minutes not only possible but recommended, for a whole number of reasons.

Nirvanos Deco: Definitely.

Now… What are some of the biggest mistakes you see guys making in daygame?

Art: Its funny you mentioned it, i am right now writing the 4 myths about day game article, that talks about the main misconceptions and mistakes guys make

Nirvanos Deco: Give us a sneak peek

Art: Ok, well main mistakes are…

Starting with “excuse me”, its a small one, but almost all guys do it

Nirvanos Deco: Sure

Art: then, body language, often times guys tend to lean in rather then project voices and hold the ground, the shifting and moving as the speak, not even noticing it. Of course the girl does notice it.

Nirvanos Deco: Do you find these are more pronounced in the daygame?

Art: At night they are not as visible, because there is music, alcohol, a lot of action, so they are pronounced just because her full attention is on you, where at night she got distractions left and right.

Nirvanos Deco: Yeah

Art: This is also a big plus, though because if you know your mistakes, you can make day game approach so much more effective and efficient, just by removing those few small elements

Day game is FUN! That’s how i like to see it

Nirvanos Deco: Which brings up another point about the difference in night-game and daygame. There are several “biggies” out there sayin that nightgame is preferable for when starting out, because it builds into you social skills, social calibration etc… What do you think? What would your ideal formula for a newbie be, in terms of how much of each?

Art: I would argue against it, because i have worked with clients, and when i say i work with client i mean 10 weeks programs 1on1 , and if they came from night game, they would be so used to routines and high energy, that they would keep blowing themselves out of the sets.

Here is how i compare night game and day game, night game is like hammer and nail. You don’t need accuracy, just keep hammering. In day game, your set is opened or not opened in the first 15 seconds or less

… so that’s surgical precision

Nirvanos Deco: True.

Art: so i would say night game will hurt you, if you want to do day game , you can still do it, but your calibration will be off. I would say, start with day game, then see if you even want to do night.

Nirvanos Deco: Love it. Nice and simple.

Art: Because when you get number in few minutes and you’re having fun, do you want go back to 3 hour marathon races?

Nirvanos Deco: Exactly. You have no idea how much I agree with this.

Ok, let’s take a huge 360 degree spin, and backtrack all of this. What a lot of readers want to know when they get the opportunity to read from someone who’s reached mastery is…

Art: Sure, shoot

Nirvanos Deco: How long did it take you to first get to the level where you were satisfied with your “love life” let’s say… And how long until you reached the level where you could teach this to others.

Art: I had a really strange start, because the way I started was before the community, I just was so fed up with not getting girls, that i started approaching everywhere where i went… so it was a lot of trial and error, and that’s first time I saw day time work, I did one-hundred-and-one approach in my first month.

And got 31 numbers in day game.

Nirvanos Deco: This is all Pre-community?

Art: …yah pre community …i didnt know how to follow up, or do anything with it, so i blew them all, but i saw potential

Nirvanos Deco: Love it.

Art: So I started working different aspects on trial and error, so it was bout a year before i found community, so my roots come from just my own experience, of seeing what works and doesn’t work.

Nirvanos Deco: What were the main ways in which the community helped you, and then hindered you? What changed due to the community, in contrast to doing it yourself, trial & error style.

Art: Helped? I felt energy, i felt like Jedi master, i could feel energy between people. Amazing feeling.

Hurt? I just couldn’t figure out dating and was starting to get burn out by doing approaches and numbers and not knowing what to do next, or doing things, and things not working

Nirvanos Deco: yeah

Art: Community: [the community] gave materials that really clicked with me, most notably DYD and swinggcat. Infact swinggcat is the man.

Being the prize vision is what I have lacked before

Nirvanos Deco: Yeah, he pretty much brought the concept in.

Art: It wasn’t what made me happy, it was what made girls happy, and thats mattered. Once i saw and FELT what swinggcat was talking about, i added it to what i knew to day time approach, and it made a HUGE difference

In the first 3 months i got 3 ongoing friends with benefits and while the quality was still not there, it was still very cool to feel the difference between, how small shift in perception can mean so much

Nirvanos Deco: So all of that came from just switching on the prize-mindset?

Art: Yes, in one word. Yes, there was lots of small shits in things i done, but most important is being in my frame, and being prize, and later on i understood why.

Its natural, the guy is the center and he is who makes decisions. We approach, we call, we make the date, so why would a girl have the frame? That’s artificial.

Nirvanos Deco: It is.

Art: But society pretty much teaches that its natural, and after i read Swinggcat i was like ” FUCK yeh” i have since worked on the perception of being the prize… and came up with a more exact explanation that deals with frames, and how each conversation revolves around yours and hers frame.

Nirvanos Deco: Tell me a bit about your experience running the NYC lair. How has that experience helped you first in your own pickup skills, and then second in eventually doing this professionally?

Art: Well I don’t run nyc lair, i ran NYC wingmen and NYC play. In total 800 guys. I started doing it professionally and then started running lairs. I was a part of was NYC lair and i learned a lot from how they did things, so i decided to make my lairs less commercial

Nirvanos Deco: Meaning?

Art: What NYC lair does… is runs it as commercial, so all training goes trough guest speaker seminars or their coaches. In my case I wanted guys to learn from other experienced guys, aka wingmen.

Then we hold different events to get to know each other, outings, speakers.

Nirvanos Deco: So it involved no gurus, just sincere guys on the same path helping each other out basically?

Art: Yes, i do bring speakers, but i try to get speakers from the groups, do board speaking , get 3 good guys and let them speak at the meeting, so more community involved.

Art: I am not exactly happy with where the pick up industry moving, nor quality of service it provides

Nirvanos Deco: Sure, I was hoping you’d talk a bit about that. You hold one of the cutting edge blogs on following the trends in the community (http://pickupfuture.blogspot.com/)

What are some of the trends you see coming up in the future?

What are things you like and are optimistic about, what are some things you don’t like.

Art: There [are] a lot. One, i am seeing the community doubling by the end of 2008

Nirvanos Deco: Woah. That’s a bold prediction.

Art: We have reached a tipping point, where it’s no longer word of mouth

Nirvanos Deco: Sure.

Art: Media is jumping all over it, if you go to you tube you will find all kind of mini series on pua or jokes about it. Its becoming an industry. Not yet, but soon. We’re talking about men who didn’t even know they can learn this, now can learn.

Nirvanos Deco: So is this a good thing? Is it a bad thing?

Art: Well look at this, right now college students are the biggest population in pick up

Nirvanos Deco: Yeah

Art: now imagine 30-60 [year old] guys learning about it. They are practically untapped.

Nirvanos Deco: Sure

Art: And who has money? And when the money comes? What happens next?

Nirvanos Deco: Capitalism

Art: Anyone can become pua now, or claim to be, all you need is a site. You know how much making a site costs? Next to 0.

Nirvanos Deco: Sure, there are some well known cases of 60 year old bald 40-years-in-marriage internet marketers writing pickup books.

Art: there is no entry barrier so… yes, your uncle next door with 3 kids, will open a pick up business. So what i see happening next, is more local pick up guys. Sort of like the match making industry with a different angle.

Nirvanos Deco: Sure. Small pick up niches. Small pick up local stars. I can’t wait for the “pickup for guys with short hair” and “pickup for guys with no teeth” niches.

Art: Right now we are at the VERY start of the curve. There will also be a split between pick up and dating coaches

Nirvanos Deco: Yeah

Art: pick up doesnt have positive connection to the public so it will stay underground, and will be HUGGGGEE underground

Nirvanos Deco: Sure.

Art: while “dating coach”, is a known name so it will become more upscale…

…a lot more 30-60 will go to dating coach then pick up Artist

Nirvanos Deco: yeah, think dr. hitch?

Art: yes , hitch is the word

Nirvanos Deco: I did not quite get that.

You’re saying a lot more people will start off with the dating coach industry, and then discover the pickup stuff?

Art: Other way around

Nirvanos Deco: Sure

Art: people learn about pick up and then go look for a dating coach

I personally noticed big difference when game came out

Nirvanos Deco: What’s the difference? Except semantics.

Art: I call myself a dating coach, and there is significant difference between a pick up and dating coach… main [difference] is: a dating coach teaching you to become natural by eliminating certain habits, pick up teaching you to get laid

It’s a different mind set

Nirvanos Deco: sure

Art: I think its good to do pick up and get laid for a whiel, and then do more getting to know yourself, to be at ease with women, but what ofthen happens is that the market is still to small to really differentiate.

Nirvanos Deco: some would argue that only the marketing is different.

Art: The bigger it becomes, the more differentiation we will see.

Nirvanos Deco: Let’s bring it back to the reader.

Art: Let’s do it!

Nirvanos Deco: What all of this means to the reader. You’re obviously seeing the mess that exists today. When we were starting out there were 2 books, 3 methods and 1 workshop.

Today they are hit with a ton of conflicting messages, and everyone tries to push their own thing onto them. What is a practical formula you would suggest to a newbie to get good at this.

Art: Yah i love the basics.

In my article on day game myths i say fuck all methods, and then go take Improv classes near you

Nirvanos Deco: sure

Art: It really comes down to you, and what you want, and improv classes will get a person out of his head better then any material. Its all about building base and then adding elements like swinggcats’ book or my book, its only semantics in a big picture of YOU

Nirvanos Deco: What would you suggest he do in practical terms regarding the field. Would you prescribe he spend an x amount of hours trying to do daygame. Would you suggests working on certain attributes.

In other words, if you could go back 7 years ago, what map would you hand over to yourself to ensure the fastest progress possible.

Art: A practilcal method, go watch Top Gun, then go do few approaches, Top gun is best pick up move ever made. I would say doing approaches is the key, better then anything PERIOD. The more you do it the better, give yourself certain amount approaches a day, and then say , ” I wont go back home untill i do approaches for today”

Тhat’s how i started, but after you broke trough the wall of “cant approach”, ease off and stop doing approaches by numbers

Nirvanos Deco: That brings up an interesting objection some guys come up with when they hear that “oh, but he could approach even before the community, he can’t teach shy guys, he doesn’t know what it’s like”. What would you say about this? To some guys saying “just approach”, is like telling them, just go and lift a 500 pound dumbbell

Art: Haha, i wish it was that simple.

But the reason is i started those approaches, because i was so fed up with one girls bull shit, that i decided to change it, and it was HARD, but hardest are first few days, it gets easier later

I would walk around my block not wanting to do any more approaches, but i havent done minumun 3, i had one more to go.

Nirvanos Deco: Yeah

Art: So i would go, even if it was pouring rain, and approach someone

It was HARD, it wasnt walk in the park, but i was so fed up with that shit of not having control, that this was better then former.

Nirvanos Deco: But then again, you didn’t have a resource on daygame back then.

Art: I had nothing, but being fed up with BS.

Nirvanos Deco: Tell me about park bench dating. It’s probably the first truly comprehensive resource on mastering daygame and approaching.

Art: Park Bench Dating is my culmination, of all experience of thouhands og approaches , seeing what workds , what doesnt work, reading hundreds of books on psychology (and some on pick up), its realy built around you, undersanding yourself. What it trully means to have fun during approaches. Its filled with exercises.

That will get you out and you will want to approach in day time.

Its really not rocket science. Thats why i get crazy, when i see next pick up “guru” touting hie next “secret”, for fuck sakes, this is men and women, its biological.

There is really very few “secrets”, most of it is common sense that we dont see because of social norms.

Nirvanos Deco: The basics.

Art: [The] basics consist of 80% of good approach. thats why wee see naturals, who never read anything pulling girls left and right, just because he understands basics

Art: We could probaly take all community information and break it down to a 50 page booklet. thats all you need.

Nirvanos Deco: I fully agree. Especially once you see it all. The more you see, the more you notice how unnesecary most stuff is. Yah, it comes down to experince, so appraoch, take improv classes, read my or swinggcats book and enjoy meeting women, not as work but as a fun adventure.

Art: I see too many clients who come to me. And they crazed on IOIs, amoging, and other elements of pua community, but they don’t see the most basic common sense, and sadly as community grows more and more people will be that way.

Nirvanos Deco: sure. They all know all the lingo, but don’t have basic social skills

Can “DHVPSTHG the lateral tri-set”, but can’t just make friends and just socialize.

Art: …because PUAs , got to make money, so more products will come out, touring repacakged men + women = ?

Nirvanos Deco: Sure, you can’t sell a 50page booklet over and over. Basics don’t sell, revolutionary magic pills do.

Art: yep, “THE SECRET” this week is …….

Nirvanos Deco: What is it?

Art: It changes every week

Nirvanos Deco: Haha, so true. Well thanks for being here man. I really appreciate it and so do all the readers on here. There’s a ton value hidden in here, and I recommend everyone check out Park Bench Dating, and start meeting women instead of gaming.

Art: Thanks for having me. It was a pleasure.

Technorati Tags: appproaching women, Approach Women, day game, daygame, how to approach women, how to talk to girls, Pick Up Artist, pick up girls, Pick Up Women, Sarging, Seduce, Seduction, talking to girls, to approach women