Tag Archive | "dating-tips"

Review: The Attributes by Cameron Teoni

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The “dating/pickup” community suffers a huge bad rep for several reasons. One of the obvious ones is that it angers couch potatoes who choose to prescribe dating success to genes, money and looks. It angers them in a deep way.

On other hand, most women and most men who are naturally confident, tend to see most of the good sides of “the community”. All is not perfect though.

There are objectively less-than-positive off putting aspects to this area and a major one of them is objectification and over complication. It is (or was until this point), full of extremely interesting social oddities which are half-geeky-engineers, half-smooth-playboys who will break down social interactions into diagrams, charts, at first seemingly strange schematics of the angles of walking, the degress of gestures and the exact frequencies of voice usage with the exactly measured out words.

The major schools in this area battled over the exact formulas (called methods) of exactly how these specifics are exactly used.

And this, is what to many can seem an off putting aspect.

Does it work? Yes.

Does it feel good to learn it? No, it kinda feels too forced and unnatural at first.

Most decided to push through the unnaturalness of the formulas, knowing, that if you use them long enough, YOU will develop into this person who is naturally a socially charismatic and attractive person, at which point you can drop the formulas.

What Cameron has done is start a new trend. A trend of going DIRECTLY for this natural aspect of BEING the man who naturally has these things “happen” to him, instead of having to “cause” them to happen.

Now, how exactly does he propose to do that?

What Mr. Teoni has managed to do, is isolate a set of attributes. A set of attributes which when developed, everything works!

To make this clearer, the notion that Teoni puts forth, is that if you have these attributes, it doesn’t matter what formula you use, it doesn’t matter WHAT you do, how you do it and when you do it. Everything bring tremendous dating success when you have the attributes.

To make the distinction clearer.

In the previous paradigm, if you wanted to approach a woman and have a stunning first interaction: the formula (of your choice) would have given you a scientifically proven way of positioning your body, the order of the words, and how they are said. In such a manner that they would convey exactly that impression which would impress the woman (that you are an attractive, confident, charming man).

In the new (attributes) paradigm, you become a supremely attractive, confident, charming man, and no matter what you say, comes across as exactly that.

Teoni does go to admit the usefulness of the “how” and develops the second half of the book, into laying out exactly the things you need to do. Even though you already have the attributes clearly laid out, and all the ways of attaining them, while they are still developing, it’s still necessary to know WHAT to do in specific situations. And fortunately, no stone is left unturned. Everything from exactly what to say when, how to set dates, to how to defeat specific fears and how to get the number or initiate the sex. There isn’t a single aspect or situation that is left uncovered.

PROS:

–A brand new and quite simplified paradigm that is “mainstream” friendly

–A practical and specific guide to personal development (badly laid out though)

CONS:

–The writing style. Even though this book has everything the reader would ever need to become supremely successful with women, the writing style almost makes it impossible that the average reader will understand it completely. It’s written in such a poor way that you already need to understand it from an expert’s level, to be able to know what is said. This can be fixed with reading the book several times, but it shouldn’t have been so badly written in the first place

rating(5): (product website)

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How to enjoy practice when going out

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5 Minutes of Practice and Joy

It’s Friday, and later tonight, you may find yourself in a spot I found myself many, many Friday nights.

You’re wandering the club, alone, late.

You’re not drunk, but you’re not sober. There are some cute girls there, but you just don’t have the desire to talk to them. You have some guys you know there, but they aren’t real friends, and you know if you say something to them you’ll have to talk more.

All you really want is to be home on your couch with your laptop and your TV. Maybe a dog. Maybe some take-out chinese or buffalo wings.

You damn sure don’t want to be here in a loud club at 1:51 on a Thursday night, watching people silently and wondering why that dumb-looking obnoxious guy in the silver shiny shirt has a blond giggling on his lap, and all you have are thoughts about how you are going to get your PowerPoint ready for tomorrow’s 10 AM meeting.

It sucks. I’ve been there, the Thursday night scrapping club. You make the vow to go out and meet your goals.

“I’m gonna talk to 50 women! I’m gonna talk to 80 women! I’m gonna talk to 100 women and pull a bunch home for an after-party and a threesome, just like I read about!”

But when you get to the club, you know right away you made a mistake. You don’t want to count the number of women you talk to. You don’t want to call them “sets.” You want to get better at meeting people and making women smile, and enjoying yourself socially without that crippling feeling that this is just more hard work in a life that already has plenty o’ hard work and not nearly enough hard fun.

It’s not you. It’s not your willpower. And it’s not even the club.

It’s all about what you want. If you want to meet girls in clubs, you will have to go out to them. But you will also have to learn to enjoy them. A wise man once told me that anything you want to get good at, you need two qualities:

Practice

and Joy.

If you just have the practice but no joy, you will stop doing it. Think of the child who’s well-meaning parents get him piano lessons and make him play every Wednesday at 3 PM when his friends are outside playing tackle football in the street and yelling every time a car passes by. You think he gets a lot of joy from his practice?

Later in life, of course, that same kid will realize that while no woman is impressed by your ability to run a fly pattern and haul in a 30-yard pass with a Nerf ball, they all get wet as mosquito bogs anytime a man sits at a piano and plays three notes that don’t sound like cats screwing. So keep that in mind.

If you have the practice, you need the joy. But if you just have the joy, you won’t make much progress. You’ll be aimless, and get frustrated at your repeated same efforts, like the kid who discovers finger paints and never picks up a brush because no one teaches him anymore. I loved painting when I was a kid. I even took a painting course in college. But no one ever taught me the fundamentals of just how to hold a brush, or mix paints. And so I just stopped, despite my joy.

Practice and joy. When you plan to meet women, make sure your plan includes both of these elements. Get a good start with your practice by finding some expert instruction, like our new revolutionary home-study guided audio-video course, “Movie Star Body Language.” With the step-by-step instruction and visual modeling, and the guided visualizations within, you will learn with all your senses how to transform your body from accidentally unsure to intentionally cocky.
http://seanmessenger.podbean.com/movie-star-body-language/

Now you’ve got that, bring some love to it. Do things that make you smile. Meet women where you want to be. Go to bars with music you like. Let yourself have your favorite drink even if someone tells you not to. You’re a grown-ass man. Make your own decisions. And always, always, always decide on what’s fun.

If the night just ain’t working, you can always go home to where it’s nice, see what Tivo has waiting for you, and head off to bed, knowing today is another day, full of…

Practice. And Joy.

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MSNBC tries to rip a casanova to shreds, and… fails!

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An interesting video where the today shows interviews one of the most notorious naturals as of late: Mr. Paul Janka.

Notice the attitude and distortions presented. The guy does pretty well. He says a in a very intelligent manner that he does not lead women on. He doesn’t go around promising women marriages and then dumping them. He simply has sex with any attractive woman who will take him.

The show host, of course tries to rip on him for “preying on unsuspecting women”

The explanation she and the “expert” give on this is that —some women have had issues as children, so they get heartbroken when a man they fuck won’t marry them— And that somehow makes it man’s responsibility?

If I tell you that I want to only have sex with you… and you say that’s all you want too (but you’re secretly trying to get me to marry you)… I am the bad one?

-> I am the honest one.

-> You’re chick with childhood issues who’s lying to me in order to get me to marry you…

And I am the bad one?

Woooooah. This is getting super-scary. Did everyone’s IQ just plummet to record lows?

Huh?

Since when does that logic make sense?

What do they propose instead? That he marries the first woman who sleeps with him even though they’re not a personality-match? I don’t get it?

His method: I am searching for the right one. While I am searching, I have fun (mutual honest and upfront fun).

It’s a matter of statistics really. How likely is that the first person you meet be your perfect soul-mate? Not very likely. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find your match. And one of the ways of getting to know people is through sex. How are going to know if a person is right unless you have sex with them?
Who are these people to tell me that I should marry the first girl who expresses interest in me, so that a few fucked up women don’t get the wrong signal? Whatever happened to taking responsibility? What’s up with this victim-lead society?

He takes his part of the responsiblity. He’s up front and tells people what he wants… But now… he’s supposed to also take responsibility for her? Because she’s not sure what she wants.

What happened to the women’s movement, weren’t they supposed to empower and liberate women and move them away from having to depend on men’s decisions. How come we’re back to men having to mind women’s decisions for them?

There Were some really intelligent comments on the MSNBC site though:
http://allday.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/12/10/507637.aspx

I thought Paul was very articulate, well spoken, non confrontational, intelligent and honest. Hard to find those qualities in a man. Mereidth and the Dr. interviewing him appeared inadequate compared to his candid and honest response. -> Annette, Denver, CO

Please know that all women, single or otherwise, are not “putty” in men’s hands. Paul has every right to be a Casanova, scoundrel, playboy, etc. It is every woman’s responsibility to stay on top of her personal relationships and to stay in “check”. If Paul purposely pursues vulnerable women, that is a different situation, but from his interview, I didn’t take him to do that. I am not sure he would even give two thoughts to the woman’s state of mind. -> Kimberly, Columbus, Ohio

I do not think Paul has an addiction, and I thought Natalie and the Dr. were condescending and rude. If the man does not want to get married why must we say there is something wrong with him. Monogamy, marriage and family is not for everyone. As a women I do not want any of those things. I get much support from both men and women for this. However, when a man is like this he is a sex addict. What a closed minded view in this day and age. -> Sunshine Pollard

I do not think Paul has an addiction, and I thought Natalie and the Dr. were condescending and rude. If the man does not want to get married why must we say there is something wrong with him. Monogamy, marriage and family is not for everyone. As a women I do not want any of those things. I get much support from both men and women for this. However, when a man is like this he is a sex addict. What a closed minded view in this day and age. -> Sunshine Pollard

Oh, grow up!! It is not a wonder why women are attracted to this man. Look at him. Listen to him speak. He’s great looking, interesting job, intelligent, confident. Why should all men be out shopping for a bride?? This is not 1950. I would have thought that your intereviewers would be slightly more enlightened than to blame his “serial dating” on having divorced parents. Come on! It seems that he is honest with himself and with the women he dates, (and hopefully practicing some very SAFE sex!) so maybe his answers just aren’t what some women want to hear. Doesn’t seem like the villain you may try to make him out to be. -> Bridget, Lagrangeville, NY

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Feminists say: Daygame should be illegal

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The Washington Post ran an article by a FemiNazi on her repulsion with men giving her “unwanted attention”. Now, I understand the fact no one likes un-wanted attention, in fact, it feels oddly repulsive. Just imagine an obese feminazi rubbing up against you and whispering in your ears “take me big boy, i’m all yours”…. Ewwww, right?

What I don’t like however is the Crime the feminazi want to turn it into. Especially with hypocrisy they run it by.

Apparently women are “disgusted” and “grossed out”, by men calling out to them on the street.

What are they calling out? Are these men saying stuff like “you ugly c**t?” to random women? No, not even close, they’re actually saying such atrocities as “wow, you look beautiful” and “Hey there sexy” or “Good morning”.

Oh, but they must like be groping them and following them, right?

No, none of that. Just commenting about their appearance or trying to start a conversation.

[sarcasm]How incredibly painful and hurtful[/sarcasm]

It kind of reminds me of women ranting about dating actions, especially ones they never undertake. Such as what we’ve all heard from our female friends.

Woman 1: “What an asshole, i gave my number to this guy and he waited 3 days to call me!”
Woman 2: “What an idiot, I gave him my number, and he called me the next day! what a dork, don’t men have any sense and learn to wait!?!”.
Woman 3: “Sure I gave him my number, but why did he call me, doesn’t he know you don’t call women like that”
Woman 4: “What a jerk, I gave him my number and the bastard won’t call! MEN! All they do is lead you on!”

You know, these examples are not only real, but what makes them funny is often you’ll hear them from the same woman in different situations. Pointing to how women can easily miss how the confuse the bejesus out of men about what is “proper”.

Which is kind of funny, since these same women have never ever in their life had to ask a man out or do the phone number getting, so it’s kind of hypocritical of them to be the ones criticizing.

It’s the same with these complaints on cat-calling. Ok, so these catcaller guys are sleazy, uncalibrated and socially-retarded… So?

They’re at least doing something, unlike the Washington-Post writer who hasn’t had to start a conversation with a man in her entire life. And goes around giving people the middle-finger. It’s easy to be the one ranting about “un-movie like approaches” when you’re the lazy side of the process.

Fact: Being sleazy about the way you approach women is well, sleazy, no doubt about that, in fact it’s lame
Fact: Ranting and victimizing about it when you’re the one who has it easy, makes you sleazier than the actual sleaze.

Question to heterosexual feminazi? Would you rather than no man ever again approached you, asked you out or complimented you, nor noticed your looks? If it meant an end to all “bad approaches”? —> In other words: Would you trade never ever ever again being approached or asked out or complimented if it meant a stop to all bad ones?

Now, obviously, I’m bringing it to an extreme. But the truth is, that everything has it’s consequences and side-effects. If you’re being the passive side, you need to accept the side-effects it brings. If you like being the approached one, then you have to know there will be approaches you don’t like either. If you ever like being perceived as an attractive person, accept that not all attention to your image will be of the type you like or intend.

Simple Test: Jot down the number of times you approached a man you liked. Now jot down the number of times you waited for a guy you like to approach you.

Jot down the number of times you’ve asked a guy out, and jot down the number of times you waited for a guy to ask you out,

Now, jot down the number of times you initiated a first kiss, and jot down the number of times the man did.

If these numbers are far from being 50-50 (equality, yo!),  and unequal in the direction of you being the passive one, that is (IMHO) a very subtle sign of hypocrisy. You want to have your cake and be able to eat it too. “I want every single man to act in the exact manner in which I imagine a perfect man would act.”

If you want your approaches to always be of the perfect manner, start approaching. You are the only person who’s actions you can control. Only you know your preferences and taste. If you want all your experiences with men to be like you want them, then start initiating them.

My opinion is that… if every single woman on the planet decided to make use of equality within the dating field, and approach and initiate kissing and potentially sex as often as she wanted to… Virtually 95% of “unwanted attention” from men would disappear… as men wouldn’t need to play Russian roulette… and hence, so would disappear the sleazebags.

Some hilarious quotes from the original article

8 a.m. in Mount Pleasant. Last night’s dress and heels—risky—but I need to pop home and think early hour + short distance = no danger. Wrong. A few guys who are in an apartment above street level have a great time yelling out, “Ooh! How are you? Good morning! So beautiful! Damn! Look at her! Hello?! Hey, sexy,” and whatever else; goes on for at least half that block. I give them the finger.

Ten minutes later, walking back, having changed into tank and jeans. The upstairs guys are gone, but a guy in a car I walk by while crossing the street hangs out of it at me and says: “Good morning! Damn!”

Because saying good-morning is now considered harassment…

There’s a problem with that ego-centric approach of “He was so sleazy the way he said “good morning damn”". Not all women are like you. The perfect approach for you, is another woman’s “approach from hell”. Your gross compliment is another woman’s “attention from heaven” and vice-versa of course. The perfect approach for you, is another woman’s “lame, dorky” approach.

Source: WashingtonPost article

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